What a day What a day Drinking 8 glasses of water within 45 mins today Ridiculously you can’t pee You can’t pee Right away Hold it up! Hold it up! Pressure in my butt Do you know how I truly feel when you tell me to hold it up Freedom comes, freedom comes when I could let it go release it all at once Freedom comes, freedom comes, Felt like you blew it but indeed you have been set free...ahhh About: Connie wrote the lines around the time she had her CT Scan of abdomen, when she had to drink up and retained the water as long as she could for scanning. She wrote about the pressure of having a full bladder, how she felt being stretched- to enlarge beyond natural limits in order to endure and complete the medical procedure. Great relief came when it finally came the time she did not need to hold anymore. Yet a strange sense of defeat comes simultaneously with the freeing experience. At times, we focus too long and hard on enduring or maintaining, thinking resilience is the answer of going under pressure; and forget about letting go and surrender could be the response in the process of being stretched. The release of tension, the cease of striving could be a kind of freedom. It looks as if this is pee being hold up, but I see this freedom song is much more than a P-song. K.L “Wanna try songwriting, Connie?” It happened one night, with no agenda in mind I brought my guitar with me to hospital hoping for the right moment the power of music could be unleashed in the ward. Didn’t expect any positive response, I popped the question after an idea flashed across my mind. Her face lighted up, her playfulness switched on. Immediately she replied “Why not? Let’s do it!” But...how?” In no time, the first song was already in the making. She had just finished a CT scan and wanted to capture the moment with a song. Within 20 minutes Connie’s first hit had already completed. Totally blown away watching her creative ideas bumping through, her fingers accelerated typing the lyrics on her phone. I barely caught up with her typing speed, trying to improvise a melody line and guitar accompaniment to go with her lyrics. It must be hilarious. Our laughter was contagious, attracting the attention of many curious eyes in the ward. E.W

Father God I just want to give it all to You Including my little faith Not to make You “work for me” or getting the ways I want But simply to honor You Father God I feel blessed to have nothing but you to hold my hands Like a father holding… Feeling safe to be in your arms with your eyes gazing into mine securely and lovingly Chorus You are my life You are my truth You are my path You are my love That I would live my whole life for You You are my peace You are my hope You are my Redeemer You are the Prince of Peace My whole life is in Your hands Bridge Praise You that is what I want to do With my mustard seed of faith I wanna glorify you with all of my heart It's my destiny to seek You with all my life About: ...for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. Matthew 5:45 NASB Connie said one time in her distress, “ I have never signed up for these...” Unanswered questions ran through her head every single day in this journey. This song is about the choice she made- to worship in her suffering, sing praises in the midst of not knowing. Yet one thing she knew for sure, she was secured of her identity as a precious child of God. It had been a process to re-possess the unconditional love she always had. Realising who she was in Christ was just the beginning.... Earlier last year 2017, Connie and I went shopping for dresses. We later called that experience- Shopping therapy for her identity. Only recently I browsed through her old photos and I found her pictured mainly in oversized shirts and loose zipped jackets. Connie felt God was prompting her to get a dress- something to celebrate her identity as a woman. So, we went into stores after stores, trying on well... the same dress. After many hours, and many visits to fitting rooms she finally made up her mind. She got herself not just one but a few pieces on that day and the following days. That day, I tried so hard to persuade her to get the white embroidered cotton blouse with frills and standup collar; for she said, never did she imagine herself carrying something that elegant and delicate, yet felt so comfortable and at ease the same time. Eventually she didn’t get the blouse. However, that photograph she took in fitting room sealed in her heart- For the first time, she saw herself differently- A beautiful woman at peace, a new Connie. That photograph became her Facebook pro le. K.L. The Act of Worship is a Deliberate Choice Connie had gradually taking up this project seriously. In the midst of her condition, she wanted to write a worship song, a song that she knew would help her shift her attention from the many hospital procedures she was undergoing, to the relationship with Father God. Worship is much more than songs and music; it is a declaration, a surrender, a cry and a devotion. The words here capture some of the essence of God’s characters experienced by Connie, it is an expression of her response towards the God who loves her. Lyrics act as a reminder of our relationship with our Father especially in times of needs. Music is just the container of the personal expression, attempting to capture the emotions behind the words, enhancing what words sometimes cannot express. E.W.

If the eyes are the window to her soul She is telling me that her soul is at peace Her heart is resting in the safest place embracing by her Father's arms After all those years of bads & uglies walked thru the valleys and shadow of death she has finally put the past behind her Healed & restored by her Father's love As she's placing her confidence on the One who does all things well she is secured because she knows Her identity and authority Is sealed and unshakable in Christ Jesus Pre-Chorus 1 Deep down in her heart she wants to shout out and declare to the world that she is healed Deep down in her heart She has been made new by the love of her Father God Pre-Chorus 2 He loves me deeply He loves me dearly He created me for a reason No one can steal No one can kill No one can destroy His plan for me (I remain confident of this) I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living Chorus She is "me" I have no more fear & shame She is "me" to declare that I am the child of my Heavenly Father He is the great “I Am” the Creator of the Universe About: Peace is an inner state of being that is not determined by circumstances. It is a choice. By declaring, we remind ourselves where our security came from. By shouting out loud who’s the One watching our back, we march on fearlessly. Knowing we are loved, gives us strengths to face our challenges. Connie described this song as “school anthem” that clears up the cluttered mind and old self. As we often joke, we are the class of Hallelujah, we learn together and we learn from each other, singing praises as we go. This song talks about honouring femininity and accepting the vulnerability, that comes with that identity. Connie said, “this song is dedicated to wounded women.” And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2 Cor 12:9 NASB Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable takes courage. Just the thought of exposing the true selves including flaws and shame is scary. We are taking a chance of either being accepted, rejected, or obliviated. Yet it is that very vulnerability that draw us closer to God, and to each others. When we are weak, that’s where we become strong. Relationships go vertical and horizontal. It’s really up to us how or if we want to relate at all. For vulnerability is contagious in healthy relationships, sharing can become reciprocal or even communal. May be its time to give ourselves a self check. Are we safe people to be around with? A Voice for Wounded Women Connie wanted to turn the declaration of her femininity that she posted on Facebook into a song. A song that declares her identity, a voice for wounded women proclaiming His promises, ‘minus the goofy part’ she said. While working on the arrangement for this piece, I knew it would be one of the crucial songs that needed to capture the very essence of Connie. I remembered many Disney female characters have their own identity songs. Well... Connie was not impressed by the idea of princesses. She insisted it had to be a song full of joy and peace, with a gratitude that she found for her identity in Him, as if she had just uncovered a treasure chest. Leaving the Disney style behind, I investigated her musical preference. One’s preferred style of music tells a lot about a person. The arrangement attempted to capture her favourite musical style that is modern, upbeat, rhythmic, energetic with a sense of determination and direction. The repetition of the chorus summarizes the message. Indeed, Connie was shouting out and declaring her unshakable identity in Christ. E.W.

We all look for our love ones and want to be loved Great love like Jesus who gives us all unconditionally We have tried so hard to please those around us And give what we do not have As we do not fully understand how Jesus loves; turned out wounded and fear of all kinds of love, Hesitate to know and be known Staying in the world of our own Do you know Jesus is the friend right next to you Just like those unexpected love ones He’s placed in your life. They give you their time, affirmation, prayers & love more than you could ever ask for Chorus We are stronger when we bond together with His love We walk further, endure better on this journey Together, we are one in Him Christ Jesus in us Bridge Reflect His grace & mercy A family to make a difference with His love A friend, a teacher, a mentor A sister and a brother, We are One in the Kingdom’s family About: We witnessed God’s deep work in Connie two years ago - to heal and to set her free. One of the elements of restoration that she reckoned, and had been giving her a hard time was learning to receive. Yet she knew, in order to give, first she had to receive. God has a way of making sure we would never miss our highlighted lesson by repeating it. That season, many around her kept showing her love in actions, allowing her to practise on receiving goodness and kindness that were unconditional. It had not been an easy journey. No one would ever ask for sickness, calamity nor turmoil. Finding herself constantly weighting her decisions, the medical procedure and options; to endure pain that continued spreading and elevating. She found time to reassure us, “Can’t made that far without you guys walking with me”. It had been a divine ‘body work’ orchestrated by Him, we instinctively taking turns fulling the gaps of need whether it was a listening ear, a nourishing meal, an act of generosity, a prayer, delivering a worship song, an encouragement, running an errand, or even abolishing in love when doubts or flesh got in the way. It is quality relationship, not self-sufficient but honest vulnerability and compassion she valued in a true community. K.L. Love Unconditional One of the many things Connie had to relearn with her renewed mind was Love- whatever form it is in, i.e. soft or tough; it is about relentlessness. Lion had been her symbol of courage. Inspired by Kayan Lam, Connie reflected on relationships. Indeed, it is one of the arts to master in this journey of life. This song is a dedication from Connie to all her close friends and the community group she belonged to, where people showed her what unconditional love was; The warmth (fuzzy feelings as Connie put it), affection, care, friendship, and mentorship given by people around her. As one of the African proverb says - “If you want to walk fast, walk alone. If you want to walk far, walk together.” Music is all about relationship, the task of a composer and arranger is to understand the specific characteristic in different musical elements and utilize the tension and release of intervallic relationship (different distances between music notes). Relationship in music can be heightened with the use of orchestra, with four main instrumental sections (strings, woodwind, brass, percussion), each part is working together to contribute to the beauty of the composition. Each instrumental part might be playing a totally different tune, yet when they come together they form harmony. And it is with harmony that creates movement and a sense of direction and thus destination. E.W.

Once upon a time I just want to live in a castle with an easy life No worries, no pain Just live a life happy ever after When time goes by I just want to make a living to meet the needs Forget about my dreams forget about my life forget about who I am When I face the darkest moments in my life It's just like facing a foggy mountain Not knowing what’s ahead of me Even though I know there will be a Better view, somewhere No clue how to get myself up there Chorus When you rest and climb up to the mountain top With God's strength & grace Find peace and rest in Him His love is in the air as I take a deep breath in Viewing everything from the mountain top with You Lord You never leave me nor forsake me You always walk beside me That’s where the adventure truly begins Nothing matters anymore No more pain and no more sorrows Former things have passed away the new thing is here Can't you tell the Lord is doing a new thing Bridge Wait, be still, rest, relax Let the Lord Almighty fight for me No need to strive, no need to fight for myself Let go of the control God will bring me to the mountain top About: The song begins with vision blurred, focus muffled, followed by apprehension. Fog often is an illustration for obscurities, uncertainty about the future triggered by disappointment or negativities in the environment. Some fog come in the natural, some come from our own state of mind. In our struggle with the faith we have; we know there shall be a view beyond imagination waiting for us once we get through. Yet the constant pushback can be exhausting; the not knowing and doubt add more weights to the uphill journey. Connie thinks the answers will come after we regain our peace and rest in Him. Remember He is love, surrender what we think things should be and viewing from His perspective. We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! 1 Corinthians 13:12, MSG A very recent trip to Banff and Jasper brought new perspective to this song. In the Canadian Rockies, this song kept ringing in my ears. The sky was clear that day, I hiked my way up to one of the mountains’ top, and the views of the magnificent glacial ranges were breathtaking. Claiming my reward for the long vigorous walk, totally stunned I had no word for the grandeur before me. My heart ceased racing, I could feel the chilly breeze from the snow covered hills passing through my pores, my mind turned quiet absorbing the awe-inspiring landscape. Human is utterly insignificant before these majestic creations. what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? Psalm 8:4, NIV People who went before us left us marks, pointers; and the road often travelled became a trail. The reflectors on the mountain trail are there when weather gets unpredictable and vision is low. As long as there is light, the reflectors send back the light, and we find our way. Isn’t that another picture of vertical arms meeting horizontal arms? With us being the light... “...You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light- bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16, MSG Interestingly enough, Jasper in Persian means “keeper of the treasure”. K A place where Connie wanted to be: Mountain Top The arrangement of this song is similar to a symphonic poem, where the music itself becomes the narrative of a story. It starts off with piano solo as the main character, reflecting on the different thoughts from the past. With continuous changing mind set, and a new point of focus in the chorus, the character gradually becomes more hopeful as reflected by the additional of orchestral instruments in an upward motions. The journey up the mountain can be a daunting and impossible task on our own, however with the right company on our sides, our perspectives can be realigned, the trail will be transformed into a more enjoyable path leading to the mountain top with a breathtaking view waiting for us. E.W.

Where is Your still small voice, God? How could I hear Your voice, Lord? When will I hear Your voice, Lord? Who is that still small voice? Pre-Chorus I surrender my all to You Humble myself in front of You Seeking you with my whole heart Let me hear Your voice Lord Chorus Be still, be still Listen to the still small voice Be still, be still Quiet down your heart and tune in Be still, be still Just let His love wrap around you Like a pearl in the shell Soaking in His presence Be still There is a world more real than “reality” you are facing Holding on to His words and promises Not what’s in your control This is the way our God can bring something new Into our lives with His voices About: My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. John 10:27-28, ASV There are times that we wish we could just press a button and there’s an answer. Especially a decision prayerfully sought after God’s will, yet things do not look as if we hope it would be, fear and anxiety sets in. Connie and I had some thought exchange on gems and treasures a while ago. We talked about pearls and diamonds, how different the way they are formed. A diamond formed under immense heat and pressure in the earth’s mantle; while a pearl comes from a living organism dealing with an offense. When an irritant shows up uninvited, as a natural defence mechanism the oyster wraps around the foreign particle with a secretion of shelly substance-nacre; same material for the inner lining of its shell widely known as mother-of-pearl. So the offending particle is covered by layers and layers of nacre, eventually a lustrous pearl is formed. Scientists and engineers today still find this united strength and toughness of soft and hard components fascinating. Not only that, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. Romans 5:3-5, BSB Sometimes our stubborn preconception became the lenses we used to seek for our preferred answer. I was watching my sister and her husband scrambled to hide all the possible distractions along the path for a easily distracted two-year-old (who changes his mind every 5 mins) to get to the door, included putting a piece of napkin to hide away the cereal just been rejected. That funny scene sticks in my head. In the mind of a toddler, going to school is the least important thing compare to those he recognises or finds interest instantaneously. I believe there are treasures designed for specific moment in life. It will reveal itself when we are ready to embrace the mystery with our renewed minds, and not limiting God’s way with our own logic or reasoning. K.L. Altar of faith The opening piano’s repetitive part captures the lyricist’s cycles of doubt. Yet, the act of surrendering opens up ourselves in a position of humble listening just like the piano’s open chords waiting to receive. The music suggests that God’s voice can come in different form, speaking to different people in different ways, His voice is always there. It might come as a gentle whisper, and sometimes a gentle twinkling. Or perhaps it’s us who need to quiet down ourselves in order to hear all the details. E.W.

I don't wanna settle for less And I have learned to choose the best Life is too short to walk on my own Keep walking, keep listening Keep pressing, no pretending Eyes on Him and He will never let you down You may not get what you expected He always prepare you for something Far more than what you can imagine Don't lean on your own understanding Trust Him, and He will make your path straight Chorus I choose life, I choose hope I choose love, I choose joy I speak life, I speak hope I speak love and joy like Jesus I bring life, I bring hope I bring love and joy in the name of Jesus I choose to worship You I choose to praise You with my soul Bridge From the rising of the sun to its setting The name of the Lord is to be praised The Lord is high above all nations and His glory above the heavens The name of the Lord is to be praised About: Out of abundance of hearts, the mouths speak. Aware or not, what fills our hearts will leak. Chained adversities easily got us slipped into an negative mode and slammed us down to a point where we feel like Job’s wife telling her husband “curse God and die.” Yet, slandering, or tainted perspective is not going to give us a fair picture of what is really before us. Lot of times our troubled souls cause us being unjust to ourselves; and sometimes even to others. It took Connie a while to get used to the front row seats, to be pampered and honoured, to choose the best so to speak. Compromised out of fears, lies and distorted view of how things are and the way should be, it cost us the original design of a much grander picture. We can choose to encourage, bring hope by speaking life into a seemingly dead situation and so to give life, or to tear down with accusations and gossips. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21, NIV What shapes us? What shows through our minds and actions? What would be the choice we are making today? We seed with our word and we reap the fruit of what we planted. There is power that comes with the word- God’s word, and the way we speak to each other. K.L. Walk the Talk The song speaks about the deliberate choice to fix one’s heart, mind and eyes on Jesus. The arrangement takes on a different spin, reflecting the twists and turns in life. Utilizing all acoustic instruments: banjo, mountain dulcimer, guitar, and cajon that are associated with folk music; it echoes the authentic, down-to-earth, carefree attitude of the lyricist. Despite of the unfamiliar ground, we can choose to either rely on our old ways of understanding and doing, or we can choose to go on an adventure by faith, with our eyes on Him who’s the great provider of everything we need for the journey ahead. Are we ready to get out of our comfort zone and step into the unforeseeable path that would eventually lead to an adventure of a lifetime? E.W.

I am saved by the blood of Jesus, I am saved by Him Led by the Holy Spirit to guide me through my path Believing in the Trinity and I am free Trust in Him and be loved by Him About: It took no time for Connie to write up the lines for this song. This is an ultimate freedom song celebrating redeemed lives. Promises of guidance and security in our Father’s love as long as we walk with Him. The song is sung in harmony of many voices, in many layers. Same as the redemptive stories, singing in homophony and can go on indefinitely- interwoven, far and wide. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it— not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. James 1:25, NIV Resurrected lives comes after death- also death to our sinful ways. A lot of times we get so caught up with circumstances, and it is hard to fully come to life and sing. Connie is telling us we shall choose to worship and choose to praise. Yet, it requires us to take a stand and make a choice: turning that decision into action; sometimes even on a daily basis. Are we trusting God enough or would we rather trust our horses and chariots (Psalm 20:7)? Isn’t that the heart we need to guard, for everything we do flows from it? Since we already been given this blessed assurance of God being at work in our lives, shouldn’t we let God Himself be our treasure and our joy? (Matthew 13:44 NIV) set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. 2 Corinthian 1:22, NIV The album begins and ends with a freedom song; The first of Connie’s song – Freedom Comes speaks on personal level. This one here, on Eternity. K.L. Interwoven Community This final song is an echo of the very first Freedom Song. The journey starts with one person walking solo, and gradually find friendship, then community. With the right company and community, simple things can be transformed into something full of potentials and beautiful. In this final track, we invited friends who were close to Connie to record a short excerpt on their phones to contribute in this vocal arrangement, where voices are joined and superimposed. Using a simple musical form called ‘round’ where one basic musical phrase keeps repeating, a solo voice kicks off the track, then sequentially adding multiple layers of voices. Therefore, instead of having just a lone voice looping monotonously, voices are interlaced. Each voice has its own character, stories and strengths. When different voices come together, there are potential conflicts, tension and chaos. However if we are able to tolerate this slight discomfort, and constantly adapt and adjust to the different style and pacing, it will eventually come together as our ears beginning to get used to the slightly off-timing of each parts, creating an interwoven piece. Harmony is vertical and melody is horizontal. A community may never going to be perfect. It could be raw, unpolished, slightly off at times, yet it is precisely this authenticity, and openness that contribute to the interpersonal relationship between members when we move forward together - The essence of a true community. E.W.